Do You Love Me? How can we be reconciled?

Scripture: Acts 9:1-6, (7-20)  • Psalm 30  •  Revelation 5:11-14  •  John 21:1-19

This week's gospel has been my favorite passage for years. When it seems your hopes and dreams have not come to fruition, or maybe even dashed, read John chapter 21. The disciples have returned to their occupation as fishermen after Jesus' crucifixion and Resurrection, having previously left their world behind as Jesus called them to be "fishers of men." 

Like Peter, they may have been wrestling with inner demons such as disillusionment, or, as The Rev. Debie Thomas points out in her "You Know Everything," personal shame and failure, and uncertainty about the future.

This chapter in John's gospel speaks to me especially reading the different Greek words for "love" as used here. Three times the risen Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, the first two times using the Greek word agape (ἀγάπη), a self sacrificial highest form of love. And Peter, somewhat abashed, tells Jesus, "you know I love you," using the Greek word filia (φιλια), brotherly love, or friendship, for love. When Jesus asks Peter the third time, Jesus uses the word φιλια. For me, it shows Jesus present, amid our doubts, indecision, indiscretions, sin, frustration, anger, shame - in all our humanity, and offers us, on our own level, where we are in the moment, his peace, healing and reconciliation. And yes, his love. But we are not to stop there. He tells us to feed his little lambs (ἀρνία) once and his sheep (πρόβατά), twice.

All of us have been sad, disillusoned, angry and upset, ashamed, or disappointed, and have sinned for missed the mark. What can we take from this gospel, and message? Is there value in a sense of shame? Has that changed culturally, and if so, how? In a postmodern age, and times of division and uncertainty about God and values, and how Christianity (and other faiths) sees itself and acts out today, how can we become whole and reconciled?

It helps to see Jesus on the shore as we go about our daily tasks, offering us a charcoal breakfast, meeting us where we are, sharing our humanity, and loving us through it all. I experienced such an occasion on an overnight camping and fishing trip with my dad at Summit Lake near Richwood when I was in my late twenties. An experience that has lived on in my heart and mind my entire adult life, for so many reasons.